The Hike / The Real Deal

Part I: The Hike

Okay, so I'm posting this several days after the event. But nonetheless...

She and I had a great time together. The weather was perfect -75 degrees and sunny with a nice breeze - and quite unseasonably warm for this time of year. We spent about 2.5 hours (seems to be our niche for time together) at the park, comprised of about 1 hour of hiking and the remainder of time sitting on a bench with a beautiful view of the lake. Our conversations were once again pleasant and interesting, exploring further into the depths of family, our upbringing, and God. The latter of these subjects was definitely the most satisfying and provocative. I mainly asked her questions and she tried her best to answer them. I was deliberate in approaching her in a non-hostile way, as my intent was not to "preach" but rather force her to verbalize her beliefs - which she had some difficulty with at times. But, sometimes that's the point of talking about it - to explore and to question, and in the end, to hopefully have a better sense of what you really believe. Or, at least that was my point in doing it. One thing she did say is that she had never discussed religion with anyone else to that great of length and depth before. Being that she remained open to the topic and didn't get upset or frustrated with me throughout the discussion, I took that as a compliment.

Overall, a nice time together.

Part II: The Real Deal

So, just to come clean with all of you - or none of you, since I have no idea whether anyone at all reads this blog - allow me to expose the real intent of this blog.

I have gradually fallen into a slump within the last year or so. Essentially, I have allowed myself to become demotivated in nearly every aspect of my life: my job, my relationships, my finances, my hobbies and interests - right down to my desire (or lack thereof) to get out of bed every morning. I can think of a few reasons that probably brought me to such a place, but the psychology behind it all is not the point of this blog.

To put it bluntly, I need to get my life together. I feel like I'm reaching a place in life where I just don't care about anything anymore, and the more that time passes, the worse it gets. I've decided that my problem is not health-related, nor some condition (e.g. depression) that I have no control over. Rather, I'm convinced that my real issue is simply laziness. I realize that everyone gets lazy about things from time to time, but mine is a cumulative laziness that has developed into a full-blown habit and I'm having the hardest time shaking it.

So, my intent is to use this blog as a form of daily accountability to get myself back on track. I'm choosing to remain anonymous, simply because of the rather personal nature of the content involved. I realize it may be that no one will even read, let alone follow this blog, which then relegates this to merely an online journal. But it's an effort that I'm willing to make.

Honestly, I don't expect this "project" to last more than a week. The idea of me being disciplined enough to do anything on a daily basis seems a bit out of my grasp right now.

We'll see what happens...